1 00:01:06,882 --> 00:01:08,382 Hi, Amy. 2 00:01:08,881 --> 00:01:10,381 You got any crystal? 3 00:01:11,082 --> 00:01:12,117 Fuck off! 4 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:14,598 Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops? 5 00:01:15,081 --> 00:01:17,631 Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself? 6 00:01:28,924 --> 00:01:30,424 Yuk, you're all sweaty. 7 00:01:30,962 --> 00:01:32,462 Whatcha lookin' for? 8 00:01:33,244 --> 00:01:34,597 My skull lighter. 9 00:01:34,764 --> 00:01:37,995 I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists. 10 00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:41,917 Now that would be a great loss to the human race. 11 00:01:43,124 --> 00:01:44,638 Sit and spin. 12 00:01:52,806 --> 00:01:56,003 That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample. 13 00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,585 He's OK. 14 00:02:01,566 --> 00:02:03,557 I think he's got brain damage. 15 00:02:04,127 --> 00:02:05,718 But he's OK. 16 00:02:08,204 --> 00:02:12,086 This place is so fucking boring I wish someone would burn it to the ground. 17 00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:15,966 Let's just get the fuck out of here. 18 00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:24,186 Wanna go to Heaven? 19 00:02:37,327 --> 00:02:38,965 Go ahead and stick it inside. 20 00:02:42,247 --> 00:02:44,238 Jordan, put your dick in me. 21 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,149 I'm tryin'... 22 00:03:00,328 --> 00:03:01,828 I'm sorry. 23 00:03:02,809 --> 00:03:03,958 I just... 24 00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:05,630 What? 25 00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,805 I'm afraid of catching AIDS. 26 00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:23,168 But we're both virgins. 27 00:03:37,372 --> 00:03:39,568 Where's the fuckin cigarettes? 28 00:03:52,494 --> 00:03:54,291 I dunno what it is, but... 29 00:03:54,773 --> 00:03:56,526 ...I feel really weird tonight... 30 00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:00,325 ...like something's gonna happen. 31 00:04:01,093 --> 00:04:02,593 Me too. 32 00:04:04,733 --> 00:04:08,433 Hey Amy... Do you love me? 33 00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,514 Yeah. Totally. 34 00:04:12,974 --> 00:04:14,474 Why? 35 00:04:15,374 --> 00:04:16,874 It's just... 36 00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,714 ..."I love you" can mean a lot of things, like- 37 00:04:19,855 --> 00:04:22,688 - You'll do till someone better comes along- 38 00:04:23,854 --> 00:04:26,209 - "I can't describe how I really feel..." 39 00:04:26,415 --> 00:04:28,771 But I know if I'm supposed to say this- 40 00:04:30,415 --> 00:04:31,915 - or "Shut up", 41 00:04:32,895 --> 00:04:34,395 I'm watchin' TV... 42 00:04:34,936 --> 00:04:36,436 Are you stoned? 43 00:04:43,256 --> 00:04:46,373 I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul. 44 00:04:47,095 --> 00:04:50,134 Like yesterday I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam- 45 00:04:50,297 --> 00:04:52,093 - on the 405 freeway... 46 00:04:53,296 --> 00:04:57,646 ...and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt. 47 00:04:58,217 --> 00:05:01,768 All I cared about was getting out and moving again... 48 00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:03,997 I know... 49 00:05:04,618 --> 00:05:08,089 ...I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole. 50 00:05:19,579 --> 00:05:21,968 There just is no place for us in this world. 51 00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:29,439 Hey, get off my fucking car! 52 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:34,400 Wake up, cocksucker! It's time to die. 53 00:05:39,061 --> 00:05:40,561 Yo, bitch, would you just go?! 54 00:05:40,702 --> 00:05:43,135 Get your fucking hands off my car! 55 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,321 Goddamn motherfucker- 56 00:05:52,821 --> 00:05:54,971 - I swear, if there is one dent in the door- 57 00:05:55,062 --> 00:05:56,654 - one scratch in the paint... 58 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:59,017 What the fuck're you talking about? 59 00:05:59,183 --> 00:06:04,371 This car is older than you and your jaibait boyfriend here... 60 00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:05,973 ...combined 61 00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:07,683 I love this car. 62 00:06:08,461 --> 00:06:10,961 Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery! 63 00:06:11,342 --> 00:06:13,492 Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it. 64 00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:15,913 Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery! 65 00:06:16,022 --> 00:06:18,490 It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up. 66 00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:21,123 You alright, man? 67 00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:24,974 Yeah. I'm totally into getting the fuck beat out of me- 68 00:06:25,141 --> 00:06:27,134 - and slicin' up my own fuckin leg... 69 00:06:27,622 --> 00:06:29,672 You are really fuckin rude. You know that? 70 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,614 Hey, that's my shirt. 71 00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:34,533 - Oh... sorry. - It's cool. 72 00:06:34,745 --> 00:06:36,245 Go ahead... 73 00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:38,935 - ...use it. - That is so gross. 74 00:06:39,145 --> 00:06:41,245 What's your name, anyway? 75 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,969 What's your name? 76 00:06:48,186 --> 00:06:49,686 Xavier. 77 00:06:50,265 --> 00:06:53,165 - What? - It's Xavier. 78 00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:56,457 That's the stupidest fuckin name I've ever heard. 79 00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:58,897 Is it cool if I just call you "X"? 80 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,816 I can't really pronounce all that... 81 00:07:02,785 --> 00:07:04,685 Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker". 82 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:07,162 If bullshit were music, you'd be a big brass band. 83 00:07:07,186 --> 00:07:10,418 What's with your Lady here, Jordo? Terminal PMS? 84 00:07:10,426 --> 00:07:12,337 - Fuck you. - No. Fuck you! 85 00:07:13,006 --> 00:07:16,320 Fuck you... you stinkin' kootch. 86 00:07:16,507 --> 00:07:18,861 Fuck you, you big wet bearded clam! 87 00:07:22,587 --> 00:07:24,544 Get out of my fucking car! 88 00:07:26,107 --> 00:07:28,258 C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it. 89 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,407 He's just jokin' around... 90 00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,544 Right X? Tell her... 91 00:07:32,708 --> 00:07:35,620 Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot. 92 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,389 Listen, gism-breath. I want you out of my fucking car- 93 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,000 - right this fucking second. 94 00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:43,266 I'm not kidding, Scumfuck. 95 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,066 Get lost. 96 00:07:52,029 --> 00:07:53,529 You're, uh... 97 00:07:53,709 --> 00:07:55,382 Giving me an erection. 98 00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:57,329 You're repugnant. 99 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:02,583 OK, Miss America. You win... 100 00:08:07,351 --> 00:08:08,943 Beam me up, Scotty. 101 00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:14,289 Later, gator. 102 00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:17,530 Hey... what about my shirt? 103 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:27,650 Thanks, X. 104 00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:29,622 My pleasure, Nutlicker. 105 00:08:29,951 --> 00:08:31,543 Will you marry me? 106 00:08:33,832 --> 00:08:35,982 Hey you don't have to decide immediately... 107 00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:39,941 Hey! You think about it! Sleep on it, honey! 108 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,670 I swear, Amy You can be so harsh. 109 00:08:46,431 --> 00:08:47,931 I dunno... 110 00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:49,933 ...he seemed cool. 111 00:08:50,713 --> 00:08:52,213 Kinda strange maybe... 112 00:08:52,312 --> 00:08:54,190 He was an anus-face. 113 00:08:55,713 --> 00:08:57,862 What were we talkin' about the other day, 114 00:08:58,313 --> 00:09:00,570 - about trying to be less judgemental of people? 115 00:09:00,594 --> 00:09:02,094 Fuck that. 116 00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:06,467 I'm starvin'. 117 00:09:07,274 --> 00:09:09,469 Stop at the next QuickieMart, okey? 118 00:09:21,036 --> 00:09:22,536 Sure y'don't want anything? 119 00:09:23,275 --> 00:09:24,787 I'm speeding, remember? 120 00:09:29,756 --> 00:09:31,256 Hey. No smoking here! 121 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,780 Jesus! 122 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,466 Hey, hey, girlie... you pick up. 123 00:09:44,356 --> 00:09:45,856 Eat my fuck. 124 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,180 Amy... 125 00:09:49,277 --> 00:09:50,777 Pick up, girlie. 126 00:09:55,598 --> 00:09:57,793 I'm so sure... 127 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,538 We happy? 128 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,874 6 dollar, 66 cent. 129 00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:27,899 That's weird. 130 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,357 Must've fallen out in the car... 131 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,499 I'll pay you right back... 132 00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:41,350 ...oh fuck... 133 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,664 - ...The Scumfuck. - 6 dollar, 66 cent. 134 00:10:45,239 --> 00:10:47,535 You fuckin kook. We left our wallets in the car. 135 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,359 - Let me just run out and... - 6 dollar, 66 cent. 136 00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:53,511 What're you gonna do, shoot us? 137 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:57,701 I mean, what is this, some kind of joke, like "Candid Camera" or something? 138 00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:05,992 Scram. 139 00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:08,351 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 140 00:11:08,643 --> 00:11:10,143 Saving your fucking life. 141 00:11:10,242 --> 00:11:12,092 Did I ask you for any big favors, huh? 142 00:11:12,362 --> 00:11:14,378 Would you please just get the fuck out of here? 143 00:11:14,402 --> 00:11:16,837 Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit. 144 00:11:25,923 --> 00:11:27,873 Would you just get the hell out of here? 145 00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:30,824 Come on! 146 00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:15,775 ...Would you just fuckin chill?! 147 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,426 ...his head. His head, man. 148 00:12:18,966 --> 00:12:20,466 It was talkin'... 149 00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:24,645 I think, we're probably cool. 150 00:12:24,806 --> 00:12:28,942 I mean, that weirdo gook Lady with the machete probably doesn't even speak English... 151 00:12:28,966 --> 00:12:30,161 I think everything's gonna be fine. 152 00:12:30,327 --> 00:12:32,382 What the fuck do you mean "everything's gonna be fine"? 153 00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:34,968 You just blew somebody's fucking head off! 154 00:12:37,409 --> 00:12:39,904 You know, you gotta be the little pessimist all the time, don't you? 155 00:12:39,928 --> 00:12:42,283 Little Miss Gloom and Doom. Well, fuck you. 156 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,799 You were there, you were both there with me... 157 00:12:46,368 --> 00:12:47,927 ...and read my lips... 158 00:12:48,529 --> 00:12:50,029 ...we're in this together. 159 00:12:50,288 --> 00:12:52,803 I fry, we all fry... 160 00:12:52,969 --> 00:12:55,642 Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser. 161 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,586 We don't know you, we barely just met you, 162 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,487 - and we certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy... 163 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,321 ...and you're ugly besides. 164 00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:07,510 I love you too, darling. 165 00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,003 His fuckin head... 166 00:13:10,771 --> 00:13:12,839 ...it was in the relish and onions and... 167 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,083 ...it was talkin'... 168 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,081 I mean, don't y'think you oughta call your mom or something? 169 00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,350 Tomorrow. 170 00:13:26,131 --> 00:13:29,181 What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all worried about their baby girl? 171 00:13:29,771 --> 00:13:32,771 My mom used to be a heroin addict: Now she's a Scientologist. 172 00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:34,392 My old man's dead. 173 00:13:36,392 --> 00:13:38,192 Oh, sorry. 174 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:42,161 I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who was always trying to molest me. 175 00:13:44,213 --> 00:13:45,713 What about you? 176 00:13:47,573 --> 00:13:49,450 My folks live in Encino. 177 00:14:02,214 --> 00:14:04,090 My mom shot my dad... 178 00:14:04,253 --> 00:14:06,449 ...then killed herself when I was twelve. 179 00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,407 I'm taking a bath. 180 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,246 I love this show, man. 181 00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:44,614 So how Long long have you and... 182 00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:47,690 ...Princess Leia been a happy little couple? 183 00:14:48,817 --> 00:14:50,317 Fuck... 184 00:14:51,096 --> 00:14:52,769 ...a long time. 185 00:14:55,537 --> 00:14:57,037 Three months. 186 00:14:58,138 --> 00:14:59,638 No way. 187 00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:03,728 Most of my relationships, they last about three days- 188 00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:07,278 ...or... 189 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,198 ...three hours. 190 00:15:11,539 --> 00:15:13,493 Yeah, relationships bite. 191 00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:20,210 Wow. Righteous tattoo. 192 00:15:21,099 --> 00:15:22,649 I been wantin' one forever but- 193 00:15:24,058 --> 00:15:26,892 - I can't decide on a design I like enough to... 194 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:33,053 ...y'know, wear on my body for like the rest of my life. 195 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,259 It's a big commitment. 196 00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:40,578 I sure do like yours a lot though... 197 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,419 I gotta take a whiz. 198 00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:56,143 Hi... 199 00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,067 Hi. 200 00:16:00,983 --> 00:16:02,483 I must piss. 201 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,521 Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members- 202 00:17:01,545 --> 00:17:03,536 - so viewer discretion is advised! 203 00:17:04,345 --> 00:17:05,995 Police say that the severed head- 204 00:17:06,147 --> 00:17:09,502 - of QuickieMart proprietor, Nguyen Kok-Suk, 205 00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:12,180 - was still talking when it was discovered, 206 00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:16,015 - at approximately 2:39 am, by a Jerseymaid deliveryman... 207 00:17:16,307 --> 00:17:20,266 ...And the San Fernando Valley Sheriffs Department is still investigating- 208 00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:24,385 - the bizarre, ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well... 209 00:17:24,547 --> 00:17:26,610 It appears that the shopkeeper's wife, 210 00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:29,164 - was so distraught over the slaying of her husband- 211 00:17:29,188 --> 00:17:31,963 - that she took the lives of her children, disemboweling them... 212 00:17:31,987 --> 00:17:33,500 Wait just a second there... 213 00:17:33,908 --> 00:17:35,022 ...disemboweling them? 214 00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:37,701 Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them- 215 00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:42,101 - before taking the knife to herself in some kind of unusual suicide rite. 216 00:17:42,869 --> 00:17:46,498 The police so far have only one clue to the identity- 217 00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:48,826 - of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers... 218 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,980 This skull earring- 219 00:17:51,388 --> 00:17:55,383 - the type sold most frequently in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops- 220 00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,700 - often worn by homosexuals, satanists, 221 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,410 - and members of other dangerous cult groups... 222 00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:04,383 Hold it, Sandy. Correct me if I'm wrong, 223 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,300 - but don't lots of people, especially trendy teenagers- 224 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,848 - following the latest "fad", kids who are otherwise perfectly "normal", 225 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,659 - don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here? 226 00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,570 Yes, well, Chet... 227 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,330 ...that is a problem... 228 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,628 Smooth move, ex-lax. 229 00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,735 Pinch the bridge of your nose. 230 00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:35,016 Pinch it there... 231 00:19:36,837 --> 00:19:39,190 I'm so fuckin hungry I can eat my leg. 232 00:19:39,354 --> 00:19:41,155 How about a little foodular action? 233 00:19:43,796 --> 00:19:45,674 Welcome to Carnoburger. 234 00:19:46,157 --> 00:19:47,657 May I have your orders please? 235 00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:49,953 Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster, 236 00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:51,472 - no onions- 237 00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:53,674 - A Passion Fruit Slurpster- 238 00:19:54,397 --> 00:19:56,752 - and aside Curly Q fries. 239 00:19:57,719 --> 00:19:59,947 I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks. 240 00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:02,554 Some Fried Cheeseballs. 241 00:20:03,197 --> 00:20:04,697 And an Evian. 242 00:20:06,118 --> 00:20:08,269 Diet coke. Extra large. 243 00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:10,995 She never eats when she does crystal. 244 00:20:11,318 --> 00:20:12,078 Shut up! 245 00:20:12,198 --> 00:20:13,698 That's be all? 246 00:20:16,278 --> 00:20:18,076 I've lost my earring. 247 00:20:18,999 --> 00:20:21,649 That'd be... 6,66$. Please pull forward to the window. 248 00:20:22,239 --> 00:20:27,439 Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring? 249 00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:29,831 It's got sentimental value. 250 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,711 My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra/trig. 251 00:20:35,919 --> 00:20:39,515 You can relax your royal sphincter muscle, your highness. 252 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,353 The crazy machette Lady offed herself and her kids- 253 00:20:42,521 --> 00:20:44,237 - so there are no witnesses left. 254 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,196 What? 255 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,794 They're all dead. It was on the news. 256 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,118 You're so full of sheep excrement it's not even funny. 257 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,997 I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right? 258 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,021 Yeah but... 259 00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:00,677 ...what if dead guy's head is still talking? 260 00:21:01,602 --> 00:21:03,513 And he tell the cops everything? 261 00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:09,421 Grossify me. 262 00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:11,794 Six sixty-six. 263 00:21:14,322 --> 00:21:16,639 - Sunshine? - Gimme some money. 264 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,342 Sunshine, is that you? 265 00:21:18,602 --> 00:21:21,052 I think you must've me mixed up with someone else. 266 00:21:21,203 --> 00:21:23,397 Gonad-face, give me some money. 267 00:21:23,644 --> 00:21:25,144 Don't lie to me now. 268 00:21:26,963 --> 00:21:28,191 I know it's you. 269 00:21:28,444 --> 00:21:32,620 Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! 270 00:21:32,644 --> 00:21:34,580 Would you just give me some fucking money? 271 00:21:34,604 --> 00:21:36,161 You said you loved me... 272 00:21:37,244 --> 00:21:39,234 You said... you'd never leave me... 273 00:21:39,484 --> 00:21:42,044 It this Night of the Living Brain-dead? 274 00:21:42,486 --> 00:21:45,477 Wake up and smell the Cappucino, geek- 275 00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:48,181 - I don't know you, I've never fucking seen you before, 276 00:21:48,205 --> 00:21:50,505 - I don't know who the fuck this "Sunshine" is! 277 00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:52,442 You little whore! 278 00:21:53,684 --> 00:21:55,403 You broke my fucking heart! 279 00:21:55,646 --> 00:21:57,203 Come on, Sunshine- 280 00:21:57,606 --> 00:21:59,402 - give the poor guy a break. 281 00:21:59,566 --> 00:22:01,204 Shut the fuck up- 282 00:22:01,366 --> 00:22:04,084 - and give me some motherfucking money! 283 00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:07,626 Ain't it nice? 284 00:22:08,366 --> 00:22:11,700 I figure, if I can't have you, no one will. 285 00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:21,321 Hey Bartholomew, what's going on? 286 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,428 The bitch! 287 00:22:28,927 --> 00:22:30,542 I will find her... 288 00:22:31,688 --> 00:22:33,242 ...and I will kill her. 289 00:22:33,409 --> 00:22:36,717 Is it fucking full moon or what? What the fuck is going on? 290 00:22:37,167 --> 00:22:40,303 You shouldn't have broken his little old achey heart like that, Sunshine. 291 00:22:40,327 --> 00:22:43,727 Cram it, ass-crack, we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you. 292 00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:46,437 Mellowize thyself, fishwich. 293 00:22:47,607 --> 00:22:50,457 Ever considered cuttin' down on your crystal intake a bit? 294 00:22:50,529 --> 00:22:52,029 Cripes! 295 00:22:52,648 --> 00:22:54,148 I have had it with you! 296 00:22:55,049 --> 00:22:56,549 Don't worry, Amy. 297 00:22:56,730 --> 00:23:00,469 We're here, we're safe, everything is cool. 298 00:23:02,611 --> 00:23:05,961 Jordan, I just wanna go home and forget this whole entire nightmare. 299 00:23:06,731 --> 00:23:12,488 It's alright Amy, really... In the morning, we'll figure it all out. 300 00:23:14,046 --> 00:23:17,571 - Ok? - Yeah, sure. 301 00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,031 I'm gonna get ready for bed. 302 00:23:26,850 --> 00:23:30,600 Brush your teeth before you turn in, otherwise you'll have cheese-breath. 303 00:23:38,973 --> 00:23:41,485 I get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much. 304 00:23:42,733 --> 00:23:44,451 Don't take it personal, X. 305 00:23:45,373 --> 00:23:46,873 She's just a little... 306 00:23:48,172 --> 00:23:50,165 ...aloof, till you get to know her. 307 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:09,608 I've never seen a tattoo there before. 308 00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:15,879 Touch it... 309 00:25:17,578 --> 00:25:19,078 Go ahead... 310 00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:21,118 ...indulge. 311 00:25:31,019 --> 00:25:32,519 What's it a picture of? 312 00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:37,001 Can't you tell? 313 00:25:39,060 --> 00:25:40,560 It's Jesus. 314 00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:46,652 Why the hell do you have Jesus tattooed on your dick? 315 00:25:49,781 --> 00:25:51,577 So people, when I'm boning 'em... 316 00:25:52,180 --> 00:25:53,535 ...can say... 317 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,200 ..."I've got Jesus... 318 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,120 ...inside me." 319 00:26:07,343 --> 00:26:10,141 I'm gonna vacuum your tongue right out of your face. 320 00:26:23,862 --> 00:26:25,362 Wait... 321 00:26:30,983 --> 00:26:33,644 - I'm gonna come! - Already? 322 00:26:33,783 --> 00:26:36,383 Don't worry, I'm good for about six times a night. 323 00:26:38,903 --> 00:26:40,403 Four at least. 324 00:26:40,503 --> 00:26:42,535 How about you? You anywhere close? 325 00:26:44,463 --> 00:26:45,963 Sort of... 326 00:26:48,144 --> 00:26:50,102 I can't hold it much longer! 327 00:27:31,068 --> 00:27:32,568 Where is she? 328 00:27:33,229 --> 00:27:35,138 Where is my little dandelion flower? 329 00:27:37,069 --> 00:27:38,707 Tell me where she is or- 330 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:42,584 - you'll gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face of yours. 331 00:27:46,788 --> 00:27:48,141 Tell me where she is, 332 00:27:48,309 --> 00:27:50,907 - you fucking slimy piece of queerbait! 333 00:27:51,030 --> 00:27:53,102 I'm right here, lovebucket. 334 00:27:56,629 --> 00:27:59,224 My pearly-doo drops rose. 335 00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:02,419 I missed you so much, my darling. 336 00:28:08,951 --> 00:28:11,551 You know I could never live without you, my bumpkins. 337 00:28:11,910 --> 00:28:14,185 I've been dreaming of this moment for months. 338 00:28:21,352 --> 00:28:22,506 Come on! 339 00:28:22,792 --> 00:28:24,292 My pants! 340 00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:29,787 My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin! 341 00:28:29,951 --> 00:28:31,801 Please, please, don't leave me again! 342 00:28:32,751 --> 00:28:34,867 Get a fuckin life, dogbreath! 343 00:28:37,672 --> 00:28:40,532 Come back! Babycake! 344 00:28:51,752 --> 00:28:55,063 Ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams? 345 00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:00,433 Not again. 346 00:29:05,074 --> 00:29:06,674 My fucking arm! 347 00:29:07,433 --> 00:29:08,933 I want it back! 348 00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,854 - Son of a bitch! - Jam on it, girlfriend! 349 00:29:13,073 --> 00:29:15,463 Get that fucking thing out of my car! 350 00:29:15,834 --> 00:29:17,632 I'm trying! What do you think... 351 00:29:23,075 --> 00:29:24,575 God fucking dammit, Amy! 352 00:29:28,075 --> 00:29:30,509 Would you kindly tromp on the fucking gas pedal?! 353 00:29:39,676 --> 00:29:41,235 ♪ Sunshine... ♪ 354 00:29:41,836 --> 00:29:44,351 ♪ You are my one true love ♪ 355 00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:47,875 ♪ You are my one true love ♪ 356 00:29:48,699 --> 00:29:51,199 ♪ You are my one true love! ♪ 357 00:29:51,597 --> 00:29:55,574 What is with you? Do you have to kill someone every fuckin time we stop the car?! 358 00:29:55,598 --> 00:29:59,716 Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrate ass twice in the same night... 359 00:30:00,518 --> 00:30:02,748 ...you fuckin furry tuna taco. 360 00:30:02,918 --> 00:30:07,072 You don't care about anything, do you? You have no guilt, no remorse? 361 00:30:07,318 --> 00:30:10,628 You murdered two people tonight Doesn't that faze you at all? 362 00:30:10,999 --> 00:30:15,739 Yeah, I'm bummed... to the max. 363 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,774 But it's not like I've never done it before... 364 00:30:18,798 --> 00:30:20,298 Excuse me? 365 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,462 How many people've you...? Just a few... 366 00:30:25,799 --> 00:30:27,399 ...and all of 'em deserved it... 367 00:30:27,838 --> 00:30:29,338 ...or wore a uniform. 368 00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:35,148 Like my first, this ugly sow of a parking cop. 369 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,975 You know how they're so full of themselves, they got their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad. 370 00:30:39,999 --> 00:30:43,501 Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me for bein' in a red zone... 371 00:30:43,681 --> 00:30:45,319 ...for like ten seconds. 372 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:50,120 So I'm there in the street arguin' with her and she's just smiling away, writin' me up... 373 00:30:50,161 --> 00:30:51,896 ...I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro- 374 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,120 ...and started poundin' her head into the hood of her nice white- 375 00:30:55,319 --> 00:30:57,432 - parking Pig-mobile, and then, 376 00:30:57,641 --> 00:31:01,794 - I slammed the door on her skull a buncha times until she was dead. 377 00:31:01,962 --> 00:31:04,231 La mort... history. 378 00:31:04,442 --> 00:31:06,321 God, would take a reality pill? 379 00:31:06,681 --> 00:31:08,181 Hey, I still got the scar... 380 00:31:11,682 --> 00:31:14,195 Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me. 381 00:31:16,923 --> 00:31:18,150 I tell you, 382 00:31:18,443 --> 00:31:21,879 - those cops are like goddamned savage animals. 383 00:31:53,126 --> 00:31:54,626 ...and some nachos. 384 00:32:06,447 --> 00:32:09,007 That'd be $6.66. 385 00:32:12,966 --> 00:32:15,801 All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God. 386 00:32:17,448 --> 00:32:20,347 - Where's my change? - Drop dead, dunghead. 387 00:32:21,529 --> 00:32:25,566 - No Zagnut bars? - Life is a chewy shit sandwich. 388 00:32:26,367 --> 00:32:29,067 Well... what now? 389 00:32:29,928 --> 00:32:31,728 Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench. 390 00:32:31,807 --> 00:32:33,307 Fuck you! 391 00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:34,868 You already have... 392 00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:37,428 Fucked me. 393 00:32:38,288 --> 00:32:39,117 You are such... 394 00:32:39,368 --> 00:32:40,868 ...the prick. 395 00:32:41,608 --> 00:32:43,584 Yeah, well, that's not exactly how you phrased it last night. 396 00:32:43,608 --> 00:32:46,637 You think you're funny? You're not. You're pathetic! 397 00:32:51,050 --> 00:32:52,550 Sniff my finger. 398 00:32:53,649 --> 00:32:58,533 Sniff my finger and tell me it doesn't smell like your girlfriend's sweet, juicy, snatch. 399 00:32:58,610 --> 00:33:02,589 I'm gonna strangle you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 400 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:17,700 Hey... 401 00:33:22,892 --> 00:33:25,831 He's a liar. You know that, don't you? 402 00:33:26,211 --> 00:33:27,360 It doesn't matter. 403 00:33:27,691 --> 00:33:30,827 Even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything, 404 00:33:30,851 --> 00:33:32,351 - but if I did... 405 00:33:33,131 --> 00:33:35,781 y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything, I mean 406 00:33:36,452 --> 00:33:38,502 ...you know that I really only love you... 407 00:33:38,972 --> 00:33:40,472 ...right? 408 00:33:42,173 --> 00:33:43,673 Whatever, Amy. 409 00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:55,189 I wish that we could ditch him some place, Jordan. 410 00:33:55,213 --> 00:33:57,602 Just get rid of him and forget he ever existed. 411 00:34:00,013 --> 00:34:01,606 He's not so bad. 412 00:34:01,774 --> 00:34:03,274 I mean... 413 00:34:03,413 --> 00:34:04,972 ...he's sorta like us. 414 00:34:06,135 --> 00:34:07,635 Lost... 415 00:34:08,373 --> 00:34:10,093 ...like he doesn't fit in. 416 00:34:11,935 --> 00:34:13,435 He scares me, Jordan. 417 00:34:14,616 --> 00:34:16,166 Like I don't know what it is... 418 00:34:17,335 --> 00:34:19,565 ...there's something evil about him. 419 00:34:22,136 --> 00:34:23,693 Don't be a cornnut. 420 00:34:24,616 --> 00:34:26,116 C'mon... 421 00:34:26,175 --> 00:34:27,675 ...finish your breakfast. 422 00:34:28,297 --> 00:34:30,206 Then let's get me some clothes. 423 00:34:30,574 --> 00:34:33,329 I feel like a fuckin frat boy in this toga. 424 00:34:51,577 --> 00:34:53,077 Be right back. 425 00:35:00,618 --> 00:35:03,568 What's with you? You act like somebody ate your pet hamster. 426 00:35:04,538 --> 00:35:05,608 Well, duh... 427 00:35:05,939 --> 00:35:08,817 ...I am so pissed at you I could rip your testicles off- 428 00:35:09,058 --> 00:35:10,730 - and staple them to your ankles. 429 00:35:11,019 --> 00:35:13,852 What the fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for? 430 00:35:14,579 --> 00:35:16,079 Tell him what? 431 00:35:16,538 --> 00:35:18,988 What do you think, doorknob? That we got together. 432 00:35:19,538 --> 00:35:22,758 - Well, didn't you utterly dig it? - That is not the point! 433 00:35:23,258 --> 00:35:28,292 What is the point then? Get it... Guilt is for married, old people. 434 00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:32,533 You are incredible. You aren't even human, are you? 435 00:35:33,820 --> 00:35:36,287 You're like a life support system for a cock! 436 00:35:37,940 --> 00:35:39,579 This is so fuckin cher. 437 00:35:39,740 --> 00:35:42,332 Look'it this thing, I mean, check it out. 438 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,000 Let me see. 439 00:35:50,781 --> 00:35:52,281 Can I? 440 00:35:52,820 --> 00:35:54,320 Be my guest. 441 00:36:09,702 --> 00:36:12,343 Jesus, it's a fuckin belt Don't tard out over it. 442 00:36:13,367 --> 00:36:14,867 Hi, I... 443 00:36:14,903 --> 00:36:16,654 Mom, dad... 444 00:36:17,184 --> 00:36:18,684 ...It's me. 445 00:36:20,143 --> 00:36:24,893 I'm uh... sorta taking a little vacation with Amy right now, and uh... 446 00:36:28,705 --> 00:36:31,060 Fuckin machine hung up on me. 447 00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:40,364 I'm thirsty. 448 00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:09,525 So what will it be? 449 00:37:11,146 --> 00:37:12,646 Shit! 450 00:37:13,386 --> 00:37:19,436 Jordan... would you just listen to me for a second and forget about that dweeby game? 451 00:37:19,460 --> 00:37:21,460 - Heey... - Jordan! 452 00:37:23,687 --> 00:37:27,537 Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency? 453 00:37:28,627 --> 00:37:31,877 Jordan, would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region? 454 00:37:34,427 --> 00:37:36,703 We're accessories to two homicides. 455 00:37:37,747 --> 00:37:39,947 Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least? 456 00:37:42,129 --> 00:37:45,629 - Kitten... Kitten is that you? - Oh God! 457 00:37:49,429 --> 00:37:51,129 Don't you recognize me? 458 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:53,370 It's me... 459 00:37:54,149 --> 00:37:55,343 ...Brandi... 460 00:37:55,509 --> 00:37:58,023 ...your eternal loveslave. 461 00:37:58,229 --> 00:37:59,424 Your slave. 462 00:37:59,630 --> 00:38:00,745 Look, Lady, I don't know who you are... 463 00:38:00,911 --> 00:38:03,861 Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed you like- 464 00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:06,249 - the others? You're high, aren't you? 465 00:38:06,391 --> 00:38:08,391 - It's me, honeycakes! - Let me go! 466 00:38:10,190 --> 00:38:12,527 I know it's you, I can smell your perfume. 467 00:38:15,350 --> 00:38:18,443 Get your fucking clammy hands off me, you crazy bitch!!! 468 00:38:19,991 --> 00:38:21,344 He's kidnapped you, right? 469 00:38:21,511 --> 00:38:24,367 And he told you he'd kill you if you act like you knew me. Oh my God... 470 00:38:24,391 --> 00:38:27,140 Well, don't fret, don't fret... Brandi's here. 471 00:38:27,312 --> 00:38:28,912 I'll save you from this heathen. 472 00:38:32,832 --> 00:38:34,628 I'm gonna lop... 473 00:38:34,951 --> 00:38:37,103 ...his dick off... 474 00:38:37,631 --> 00:38:39,131 ...like a chicken head. 475 00:38:41,031 --> 00:38:43,431 I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I? 476 00:39:06,714 --> 00:39:10,666 Oh God, Bruce! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 477 00:39:12,594 --> 00:39:15,155 But that was her, it was Kitten. 478 00:39:15,794 --> 00:39:17,547 I know it, I know it was her. 479 00:39:24,875 --> 00:39:26,375 The bitch! 480 00:39:30,117 --> 00:39:31,673 I'm gonna find her... 481 00:39:33,595 --> 00:39:35,110 ...and I'm gonna kill. 482 00:39:36,795 --> 00:39:38,626 This is so nice. 483 00:39:39,196 --> 00:39:42,507 Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer. 484 00:39:44,077 --> 00:39:46,228 I hope we die simultaneously... 485 00:39:47,556 --> 00:39:49,911 ...like in a fiery car wreck... 486 00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:53,591 ...or nuclear bomb-blast or something. 487 00:39:56,638 --> 00:39:58,230 You are so romantic. 488 00:40:00,678 --> 00:40:02,190 No, for reals... 489 00:40:03,758 --> 00:40:05,954 ...I don't ever wanna have to miss you. 490 00:40:08,839 --> 00:40:10,339 Ditto! 491 00:40:10,759 --> 00:40:14,547 ♪ Row, row, row... ♪ 492 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,380 ♪ ...your boat... ♪ 493 00:40:16,599 --> 00:40:20,955 ♪ ...gently down the stream ♪ 494 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,075 ♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily ♪ 495 00:40:34,639 --> 00:40:37,712 ♪ Life is but a dream ♪ 496 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,940 Take it out. 497 00:40:58,641 --> 00:41:00,141 Stroke it... 498 00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:05,261 Squeeze it... 499 00:41:08,082 --> 00:41:09,582 Harder! 500 00:41:13,242 --> 00:41:14,742 Look at it. 501 00:41:20,843 --> 00:41:22,343 Put it in... 502 00:41:27,523 --> 00:41:29,223 ...when I say OK. 503 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:33,000 ...O... 504 00:41:35,524 --> 00:41:37,024 ...K. 505 00:41:57,206 --> 00:42:01,085 Don't you think sex is... totally strange? 506 00:42:01,366 --> 00:42:03,839 Just the whole idea of it... 507 00:42:05,326 --> 00:42:07,682 ...this tube of flesh gets stiff and... 508 00:42:08,646 --> 00:42:10,399 ...inserted in these... 509 00:42:11,166 --> 00:42:13,157 ...warm, squishy places. 510 00:42:15,727 --> 00:42:19,323 I think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be. 511 00:42:22,488 --> 00:42:24,479 It's fuckin trippy... 512 00:42:25,807 --> 00:42:27,307 ...that's for sure. 513 00:42:29,648 --> 00:42:32,082 It's kinda like eating spaghetti. 514 00:42:35,769 --> 00:42:37,269 Why? 515 00:42:44,288 --> 00:42:46,007 You are so great. 516 00:42:52,368 --> 00:42:53,868 Hey, that reminds me... 517 00:42:55,210 --> 00:42:56,710 ...I'm hongry. 518 00:42:56,849 --> 00:42:58,567 You're always "hongry". 519 00:43:00,368 --> 00:43:02,200 That's cuz I'm a growing boy. 520 00:43:05,310 --> 00:43:09,883 I think I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and get some, Shrimp Nuggets or something. 521 00:43:11,049 --> 00:43:12,549 Want anything? 522 00:43:13,251 --> 00:43:14,751 Mmm... more cigarettes. 523 00:43:15,611 --> 00:43:17,111 Yes, dear. 524 00:43:24,535 --> 00:43:26,035 Hey... 525 00:43:36,852 --> 00:43:38,352 I love you, fucker. 526 00:43:40,052 --> 00:43:41,567 Me too, fucker. 527 00:44:17,056 --> 00:44:18,556 Pig. 528 00:44:19,575 --> 00:44:21,075 Whatchawatchin'? 529 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,916 Hey... Come here. 530 00:44:37,496 --> 00:44:38,996 I wanna play a game... 531 00:44:40,896 --> 00:44:42,396 I'm gonna start counting... 532 00:44:42,816 --> 00:44:45,694 ...if you crack a smile before I get to eight, 533 00:44:45,977 --> 00:44:47,477 - I get to strangle you. 534 00:44:47,776 --> 00:44:49,276 If you don't, 535 00:44:50,776 --> 00:44:53,165 - I have to do anything, you say. 536 00:44:55,989 --> 00:44:57,489 Alright. 537 00:45:04,613 --> 00:45:06,113 1... 538 00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:08,137 ...2... 539 00:45:08,961 --> 00:45:10,461 ...3... 540 00:45:10,985 --> 00:45:12,485 ...4... 541 00:45:13,209 --> 00:45:14,709 ...5... 542 00:45:15,533 --> 00:45:17,033 ...6... 543 00:45:18,957 --> 00:45:20,457 ...7... 544 00:45:21,619 --> 00:45:23,419 ...7 ½... 545 00:45:24,620 --> 00:45:26,120 You win. 546 00:45:30,059 --> 00:45:31,559 Go ahead. 547 00:46:00,461 --> 00:46:01,961 I'll take... 548 00:46:02,262 --> 00:46:03,762 ...these too. 549 00:46:07,302 --> 00:46:09,334 $6,66. 550 00:46:20,824 --> 00:46:23,812 - What's Jordan's like? - What? 551 00:46:24,022 --> 00:46:26,538 You know, his engorged member, his... 552 00:46:27,183 --> 00:46:28,821 ...tumescent love missle, his... 553 00:46:28,983 --> 00:46:32,056 ...throbbing purple meat scepter. 554 00:46:34,025 --> 00:46:35,525 Why do you wanna know? 555 00:46:36,064 --> 00:46:37,564 I don't know... 556 00:46:38,065 --> 00:46:39,565 ...I'm curious. 557 00:46:41,504 --> 00:46:43,004 It's alright... 558 00:46:43,464 --> 00:46:44,964 ...it's fine. 559 00:46:46,944 --> 00:46:49,884 What do you mean "fine"? 560 00:46:50,904 --> 00:46:53,056 Is it the size of vienna sausage... 561 00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:55,024 ...or like a baby's arm? 562 00:46:55,704 --> 00:46:58,264 Is it cut, is it uncut? 563 00:46:58,746 --> 00:47:01,863 Does it lean to the left? Does it lean to the right? 564 00:47:02,106 --> 00:47:04,141 Does it go in a southeasterly direction? 565 00:47:06,345 --> 00:47:08,542 Is it curved, is it straight... 566 00:47:10,306 --> 00:47:12,756 ...is it shaped like a fucking corkscrew, or what? 567 00:47:13,986 --> 00:47:16,021 What difference does it make to you? 568 00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:18,464 Does he plunge it into you long... 569 00:47:19,505 --> 00:47:21,005 ...slow... 570 00:47:21,226 --> 00:47:22,726 ...and deep... 571 00:47:22,867 --> 00:47:23,981 ...like this? 572 00:47:24,348 --> 00:47:26,941 Or quick and short and shallow... 573 00:47:27,228 --> 00:47:28,728 ...like a jackrabbit? 574 00:47:31,068 --> 00:47:34,199 Does he make noises like... this? 575 00:47:39,108 --> 00:47:41,008 Or does he make them it like... 576 00:47:44,470 --> 00:47:46,424 Or, no, he's a probably a whimperer. 577 00:47:51,269 --> 00:47:54,705 Would you kindly stop babbling and fuck me already? 578 00:49:50,597 --> 00:49:52,097 Where you been? 579 00:49:54,037 --> 00:49:55,537 Nowhere. 580 00:50:00,198 --> 00:50:02,028 I was worried about you, dufus. 581 00:50:03,319 --> 00:50:04,819 Sorry. 582 00:50:06,158 --> 00:50:07,658 Come over here. 583 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,830 You know just because he and I... 584 00:50:24,159 --> 00:50:27,674 It doesn't mean that I'm really like all that... 585 00:50:29,240 --> 00:50:30,740 ...whatever. 586 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:33,820 I know. 587 00:51:10,122 --> 00:51:11,771 This the currency we've linked- 588 00:51:11,881 --> 00:51:14,931 - to the December 17th QuickieMart robbery/homicide- 589 00:51:15,081 --> 00:51:15,913 - in Tarzana. 590 00:51:16,244 --> 00:51:17,130 The suspects... 591 00:51:17,484 --> 00:51:19,838 ...a paramilitary brigade of three youths... 592 00:51:20,801 --> 00:51:24,078 ...appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north. 593 00:51:24,243 --> 00:51:27,481 We've run a fingerprint check through the Mother Computer in DC- 594 00:51:27,923 --> 00:51:30,223 - and thusfar have ID'd one of the suspects... 595 00:51:30,483 --> 00:51:31,983 ...Amy Blue... 596 00:51:32,083 --> 00:51:33,683 ...Age 18. 597 00:51:34,244 --> 00:51:36,554 Height: Five-one Weight: Ninetytwo pounds 598 00:51:36,724 --> 00:51:38,521 Eyes: Hazel Hair: Brown 599 00:51:39,165 --> 00:51:43,659 Cumulative SAT score: 666. 600 00:51:48,604 --> 00:51:51,201 Should be considered armed and dangerous. 601 00:51:52,225 --> 00:51:53,825 Amy Blue... 602 00:51:54,746 --> 00:51:57,883 Gentlemen, I want you to find her. 603 00:51:58,024 --> 00:51:59,824 And if necessary... 604 00:52:00,306 --> 00:52:01,906 ...kill her. 605 00:52:08,247 --> 00:52:09,747 Good morning. 606 00:52:13,608 --> 00:52:17,042 Don't kiss me, my breath is like totally skanky. 607 00:52:19,688 --> 00:52:21,684 Wait till I brush my teeth. 608 00:52:25,008 --> 00:52:26,508 Hey... 609 00:52:27,528 --> 00:52:29,028 Know what? 610 00:52:31,048 --> 00:52:32,548 What? 611 00:52:32,969 --> 00:52:35,469 This is the first time we've ever slept together... 612 00:52:36,008 --> 00:52:37,726 ...and woken up together. 613 00:52:38,849 --> 00:52:40,362 In a real bed, I mean. 614 00:52:42,850 --> 00:52:45,601 You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae. 615 00:52:50,208 --> 00:52:51,708 Goofball. 616 00:52:55,449 --> 00:52:57,120 Rise and shine, monkeybutt. 617 00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:19,079 ♪ The itsy bitsy spider ♪ ♪ Went up the waterspout ♪ 618 00:53:19,611 --> 00:53:23,791 ♪ Down came the rain and ♪ ♪ Washed the spider out ♪ 619 00:53:23,850 --> 00:53:26,888 I have died and gone to hell for my sins. 620 00:53:29,612 --> 00:53:31,112 Come on man. 621 00:53:32,012 --> 00:53:34,128 It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day! 622 00:53:36,252 --> 00:53:38,447 Suck my stump to a bloody lump. 623 00:53:40,652 --> 00:53:42,405 So what happened last night? 624 00:53:43,494 --> 00:53:45,245 A Mayonaisse-on-twat? 625 00:53:48,053 --> 00:53:49,806 A Mayo-on-twat. 626 00:53:50,172 --> 00:53:51,672 A three-way. 627 00:53:52,134 --> 00:53:55,683 A double-stuff. E.T. finger-touch. 628 00:53:56,454 --> 00:53:57,954 What? 629 00:54:02,274 --> 00:54:09,851 You know in E.T. where the kid and E.T. they touch fingers and then they go... "Ooouch". 630 00:54:13,214 --> 00:54:15,332 You musta been wasted. 631 00:54:20,335 --> 00:54:22,211 Ever done that? 632 00:54:25,015 --> 00:54:26,515 You mean, like... 633 00:54:27,017 --> 00:54:30,053 ...have sex with two people at the same time? 634 00:54:30,577 --> 00:54:33,877 - Uhumm. - No. 635 00:54:35,816 --> 00:54:37,316 It's the best. 636 00:54:39,296 --> 00:54:41,254 You start building up this momentum... 637 00:54:41,616 --> 00:54:43,116 ...this rhythm, 638 00:54:43,295 --> 00:54:45,015 ...you know like a piston engine. 639 00:54:45,196 --> 00:54:47,214 And as you're all poundin' away... 640 00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:52,408 And your balls are slappin' against the other guy's... 641 00:54:53,976 --> 00:54:57,175 ...and you can actually feel his cock... 642 00:54:57,817 --> 00:54:59,568 ...through the girl's insides. 643 00:55:01,738 --> 00:55:03,932 What're you two homos gabbing about now? 644 00:55:06,138 --> 00:55:08,155 Why haven't you ever done it with an animal? 645 00:55:08,179 --> 00:55:09,679 What? 646 00:55:10,538 --> 00:55:12,434 Have either of you had sex with an animal? 647 00:55:12,458 --> 00:55:13,958 Just you. 648 00:55:16,257 --> 00:55:17,757 No, really? 649 00:55:18,179 --> 00:55:19,679 Have you? 650 00:55:21,220 --> 00:55:23,315 Well, when I was a kid, we had this golden retriever named "Honey"... 651 00:55:23,339 --> 00:55:26,298 I do not want to hear any more of this story. 652 00:55:26,498 --> 00:55:28,218 She was a consenting adult. 653 00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:33,057 I fucked a cantaloupe once. 654 00:55:34,661 --> 00:55:36,935 This song always reminds me of Scooter. 655 00:55:37,218 --> 00:55:38,718 Who's Scooter? 656 00:55:39,139 --> 00:55:41,639 He was like my best friend all through high school. 657 00:55:43,462 --> 00:55:48,036 One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom. 658 00:55:48,060 --> 00:55:49,430 And he did. 659 00:55:49,541 --> 00:55:52,771 He was always depressed, always pulling shit like that, 660 00:55:52,941 --> 00:55:54,579 - so nobody believed him. 661 00:55:56,541 --> 00:55:58,041 Death's funny... 662 00:55:59,581 --> 00:56:02,858 Like at first, it's all weird and you're bummed and shit... 663 00:56:03,863 --> 00:56:07,319 ...like this person you're used to hanginng out with all of sudden doesn't like... 664 00:56:07,343 --> 00:56:08,843 ...exist anymore. 665 00:56:09,623 --> 00:56:11,933 But then you just get over it and move on. 666 00:56:13,182 --> 00:56:17,341 It's almost for the best, I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time. 667 00:56:18,284 --> 00:56:22,284 Me and him used to sit in my room, getting stoned, listening to The Smiths... 668 00:56:23,784 --> 00:56:26,584 ...like he was over the night before he killed himself... 669 00:56:27,143 --> 00:56:31,103 ...right in the middle of "Unloveable", he just started crying like crazy. 670 00:56:31,625 --> 00:56:33,502 He was really into The Smiths. 671 00:56:36,405 --> 00:56:40,041 Hey Amy, remember the time we lost my mom's car? 672 00:56:40,065 --> 00:56:42,261 After the Thrill Kill Kult concert? 673 00:56:43,264 --> 00:56:47,343 We were so trashed we couldn't remember where we left the car. 674 00:56:47,823 --> 00:56:50,212 We looked and looked... 675 00:56:50,385 --> 00:56:52,899 ...and we walked around and around... 676 00:56:53,464 --> 00:56:56,414 ...but we could not find the fucking thing to save our life! 677 00:56:56,946 --> 00:56:59,664 We finally ended up taking a cab home. 678 00:56:59,825 --> 00:57:03,057 - Which you puked in. - Which you puked in! 679 00:57:04,346 --> 00:57:06,546 Wait... wait... 680 00:57:09,906 --> 00:57:11,737 How revolting. 681 00:57:19,906 --> 00:57:22,606 Amy? What? 682 00:57:24,547 --> 00:57:26,047 Oh fuck! 683 00:58:04,810 --> 00:58:07,210 Oh my God! Do something. 684 00:58:08,310 --> 00:58:09,810 Like what? 685 00:58:09,910 --> 00:58:11,410 I don't know... something. 686 00:58:12,471 --> 00:58:15,744 What, do look like... a fuckin veterinarian? 687 00:58:17,168 --> 00:58:18,668 Oh God... 688 00:58:24,671 --> 00:58:26,171 What're you doing?! 689 00:58:34,392 --> 00:58:36,110 Jesus fucking Christ! 690 00:58:54,233 --> 00:58:55,792 The world sucks... 691 00:59:01,395 --> 00:59:04,146 Bro, snag the import. It's got extra tracks. 692 00:59:04,170 --> 00:59:05,870 Ohh right. 693 00:59:16,894 --> 00:59:18,394 Hey. 694 00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:21,475 I just wish I could crawl in here and disappear forever. 695 00:59:24,713 --> 00:59:26,546 Don't you have that at home already? 696 00:59:30,955 --> 00:59:32,628 I miss my records. 697 00:59:37,595 --> 00:59:38,549 Well, well, well, men, lookee here. 698 00:59:38,716 --> 00:59:40,966 Check out that hot, tight bubble-butt, George. 699 00:59:41,316 --> 00:59:43,545 Oh stop, Dan, I'm gonna pop a boner. 700 00:59:43,838 --> 00:59:46,556 Hey there, sailor. Like your pretty earrings. 701 00:59:46,916 --> 00:59:48,235 Leave him alone, Pat. 702 00:59:48,297 --> 00:59:51,513 Can't you see he's a shy, sensitive flower? 703 00:59:51,537 --> 00:59:53,114 Hey X... 704 00:59:53,438 --> 00:59:54,938 ...what's going on here, man? 705 00:59:55,237 --> 00:59:56,737 No way... 706 00:59:56,799 --> 00:59:58,299 ...it can't be... 707 00:59:59,917 --> 01:00:01,417 ...Bambi? 708 01:00:01,718 --> 01:00:03,218 Is it really you? 709 01:00:04,118 --> 01:00:05,618 Fuck! 710 01:00:06,519 --> 01:00:08,019 It's me, George... 711 01:00:08,219 --> 01:00:09,719 Your poopsie... 712 01:00:09,818 --> 01:00:11,318 ...your snugglybear. 713 01:00:11,678 --> 01:00:14,055 Look, smegma-breath, I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am. 714 01:00:14,079 --> 01:00:16,655 So will you just do me a favor and evacuate? 715 01:00:16,679 --> 01:00:18,455 Bambi... 716 01:00:18,479 --> 01:00:20,390 ...don't do this. 717 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,260 Fuck this shit! 718 01:00:22,784 --> 01:00:25,684 Bambi... Bambi... 719 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,060 Please... 720 01:00:54,001 --> 01:00:56,435 Dig it... Someone made the bed. 721 01:01:01,481 --> 01:01:03,870 I just hope we don't catch crabs or something. 722 01:01:16,001 --> 01:01:18,756 Life is lonely, boring and dumb. 723 01:01:23,103 --> 01:01:25,653 Jordan, you want heads or tails? 724 01:01:26,377 --> 01:01:30,377 - Huhh? - Head or tails? 725 01:01:32,924 --> 01:01:34,424 Whatever... 726 01:01:35,783 --> 01:01:37,283 Heads... 727 01:01:37,943 --> 01:01:39,443 Tails... 728 01:01:44,884 --> 01:01:46,384 Heads... 729 01:01:51,525 --> 01:01:53,025 Oh well... 730 01:02:02,526 --> 01:02:04,026 There any more beer? 731 01:02:05,726 --> 01:02:07,226 In the trunk. 732 01:02:13,087 --> 01:02:14,587 Have fun. 733 01:02:22,168 --> 01:02:23,668 Gimme your finger. 734 01:02:28,528 --> 01:02:30,221 - Stick it up my asshole. - What? 735 01:02:30,245 --> 01:02:32,144 Stick your finger up my asshole. 736 01:02:32,168 --> 01:02:35,197 - Repulse me! No way! - C'mon. 737 01:02:35,368 --> 01:02:37,584 That is the most sickening, grotesque thing I've ever... 738 01:02:37,608 --> 01:02:39,108 Do it! 739 01:02:48,132 --> 01:02:49,932 Auhhh... 740 01:02:50,570 --> 01:02:52,366 Nice and easy. 741 01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:15,121 "Schoobie, schoobie... 742 01:03:15,770 --> 01:03:17,883 ...schmoke a doobie." 743 01:03:18,707 --> 01:03:20,707 Schoobie... 744 01:03:34,452 --> 01:03:35,952 You're up to bat. 745 01:03:36,172 --> 01:03:38,448 Don't tell me you hogged all the brewskis. 746 01:03:46,693 --> 01:03:48,843 Nothing makes me thirstier than a... 747 01:03:49,733 --> 01:03:51,233 ...wicked... excellent... 748 01:03:51,572 --> 01:03:53,072 ...fuck! 749 01:03:58,653 --> 01:04:00,153 Go fer it, boyo. 750 01:04:04,354 --> 01:04:06,154 Hey X... 751 01:04:08,278 --> 01:04:10,172 ...do you like slamdancing? 752 01:04:10,896 --> 01:04:12,396 It's alright... 753 01:04:12,436 --> 01:04:15,286 ...except when you get someone's elbow in your eye or... 754 01:04:15,734 --> 01:04:17,770 ...their steel-toed boot in your crotch. 755 01:04:20,095 --> 01:04:21,595 Why? 756 01:04:24,495 --> 01:04:25,995 Have you ever... 757 01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:27,916 I mean... 758 01:04:31,376 --> 01:04:34,594 Does it like all those bodies... 759 01:04:35,136 --> 01:04:40,055 ...all that sweating and pushing and shoving. 760 01:04:41,578 --> 01:04:43,169 Does it give me a hard-on? 761 01:04:49,098 --> 01:04:50,598 Yeah, always. 762 01:05:01,938 --> 01:05:04,697 I uhh... better... 763 01:05:08,100 --> 01:05:09,600 Yeah... 764 01:05:19,424 --> 01:05:21,224 Hey X... 765 01:05:24,979 --> 01:05:28,016 Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? 766 01:05:33,660 --> 01:05:35,931 You ever wonder why we exist? 767 01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:38,640 No... 768 01:05:39,864 --> 01:05:41,864 What for? 769 01:05:45,500 --> 01:05:47,000 No reason. 770 01:06:24,824 --> 01:06:26,324 Hey... 771 01:06:28,448 --> 01:06:31,648 - Hey Amy... - What? 772 01:06:35,464 --> 01:06:38,423 You ever wonder what the meaning, of our existence is? 773 01:06:40,065 --> 01:06:41,565 You gotta be kidding!? 774 01:06:42,544 --> 01:06:44,422 No, really... 775 01:06:45,224 --> 01:06:46,724 Don't y'think about it? 776 01:06:47,545 --> 01:06:50,945 Christ, Jordan. I'm just about to come. Can we talk about this later? 777 01:06:52,466 --> 01:06:53,966 I guess... 778 01:07:10,706 --> 01:07:12,344 What the fuck're you doing!? 779 01:07:13,506 --> 01:07:15,737 Relax, you'll like it. 780 01:07:16,947 --> 01:07:19,983 I am not going to "like" your finger shoved up my shit-chute. 781 01:07:20,146 --> 01:07:21,705 That's grodified. 782 01:07:22,186 --> 01:07:26,286 Jordan, will you please stop being such an uptight and live a little? Jesus! 783 01:07:27,388 --> 01:07:28,888 I dunno, Amy. 784 01:07:31,468 --> 01:07:33,379 Take a walk on the wild side. 785 01:07:35,067 --> 01:07:36,567 Trust me. 786 01:07:44,008 --> 01:07:49,540 - Ohh.. Amy! - Just be relaxed. 787 01:07:51,564 --> 01:07:53,364 Amy... Ohhh! 788 01:09:03,232 --> 01:09:05,733 - Shit! - What? 789 01:09:06,394 --> 01:09:07,894 What is it? 790 01:09:09,074 --> 01:09:10,574 I gotta pee. 791 01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:12,814 Right now? 792 01:09:14,394 --> 01:09:17,770 It's not like I want to get up and go out into the fuckin freezing cold y'know... 793 01:09:17,794 --> 01:09:20,229 ...but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers. 794 01:09:22,995 --> 01:09:26,271 Just go ahead and let her rip while we're all coming. 795 01:09:26,295 --> 01:09:28,091 - Yeeah. - Yeeak. 796 01:09:28,115 --> 01:09:30,105 That is so vile and beastly... 797 01:09:30,275 --> 01:09:33,473 ...I can't believe any human being could even conceive of it. 798 01:09:33,756 --> 01:09:36,668 Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart. 799 01:09:38,956 --> 01:09:40,754 You are a demon from hell. 800 01:09:48,678 --> 01:09:50,871 Girls have no sense of adventure. 801 01:09:54,998 --> 01:09:56,498 I guess... 802 01:10:02,758 --> 01:10:04,271 She better hurry... 803 01:10:04,438 --> 01:10:06,315 ...my woody's startin' to droop. 804 01:10:08,119 --> 01:10:09,619 Mine's not. 805 01:10:16,279 --> 01:10:18,349 What the fuck?? 806 01:10:18,959 --> 01:10:23,749 ♪ Two little faggots ♪ ♪ Sittin' in a bed, ♪ 807 01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:28,911 ♪ One eatin' ass, ♪ ♪ And the other givin' head ♪ 808 01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:34,037 ♪ Dirty, pervert scum ♪ ♪ Make me see red ♪ 809 01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:39,997 ♪ The world'll be a purer place ♪ ♪ When they're both dead ♪ 810 01:10:40,580 --> 01:10:44,660 - X, man, if this is your idea of a... - Shut up! 811 01:11:00,700 --> 01:11:02,400 Amy!? 812 01:11:03,624 --> 01:11:05,124 X!? 813 01:11:19,204 --> 01:11:20,904 Leave her alone! 814 01:11:22,043 --> 01:11:23,543 Dan! 815 01:11:23,563 --> 01:11:25,593 Please fire up our favorite song. 816 01:11:32,604 --> 01:11:34,400 ♪ I pledge allegiance ♪ 817 01:11:35,483 --> 01:11:40,161 ♪ To the flag ♪ ♪ Of the United States of America ♪ 818 01:11:41,445 --> 01:11:42,945 ♪ To the Republic ♪ 819 01:11:44,046 --> 01:11:45,558 ♪ For which it stands ♪ 820 01:11:46,284 --> 01:11:47,784 ♪ One Nation ♪ 821 01:11:47,846 --> 01:11:49,915 ♪ Under God ♪ ♪ Indivisible ♪ 822 01:11:50,365 --> 01:11:51,865 Leave her the fuck alone! 823 01:11:53,125 --> 01:11:56,984 ♪ With Liberty and Justice ♪ 824 01:12:00,205 --> 01:12:01,705 You fuckin bitch! 825 01:12:06,245 --> 01:12:09,777 You're gonna pay for that, Bambi. 826 01:12:13,486 --> 01:12:15,921 Part them succulent meat curtains, darling, 827 01:12:16,566 --> 01:12:19,763 - and get ready for the religious experience of your life. 828 01:12:20,269 --> 01:12:22,069 You fucking asshole! 829 01:12:22,487 --> 01:12:23,987 Stop it! Stop it! 830 01:12:24,311 --> 01:12:25,843 Stop it! 831 01:12:25,967 --> 01:12:27,467 Just be patient, honey... 832 01:12:27,888 --> 01:12:29,237 You'll get yours. 833 01:12:29,328 --> 01:12:32,799 That's what your mom said only I couldn't hear her as well. 834 01:12:32,907 --> 01:12:35,581 She had my sperm gurgling in her mouth. 835 01:12:40,850 --> 01:12:43,804 Don't... you... ever! 836 01:12:43,889 --> 01:12:46,125 Talk about my mother like that! 837 01:12:49,489 --> 01:12:51,684 You... you... you... 838 01:12:52,490 --> 01:12:54,990 You dude, are going to die! 839 01:12:55,551 --> 01:12:57,243 And you, Bambi... 840 01:12:57,950 --> 01:13:01,930 ...you lying filthy fucking slut... 841 01:13:02,450 --> 01:13:03,950 ...are gonna watch me... 842 01:13:04,489 --> 01:13:07,323 ...help your little fairy boytoy... 843 01:13:07,931 --> 01:13:10,519 ...shuffle off this mortal coil. 844 01:13:17,650 --> 01:13:20,001 Kiss... your puny... 845 01:13:20,829 --> 01:13:22,343 ...worthless... 846 01:13:22,350 --> 01:13:25,450 ...cock... goodbye! 847 01:13:39,531 --> 01:13:42,249 Any last words, queer? 848 01:13:44,293 --> 01:13:45,993 Amy... 849 01:13:47,951 --> 01:13:50,951 ...I... I love... 850 01:13:50,975 --> 01:13:53,975 Yaaahhh!!!! 851 01:13:53,999 --> 01:13:55,999 Yaaaahhhh!!!! 852 01:14:01,814 --> 01:14:04,931 Isn't love a many-splendored thing? 853 01:14:10,215 --> 01:14:11,773 Wake up, loverboy! 854 01:14:12,456 --> 01:14:14,490 Open wide and say... 855 01:14:14,735 --> 01:14:16,535 ..."yummy yum yum"! 856 01:16:02,182 --> 01:16:03,882 You wan't a Dorito?